False Accusation

When I take a shower, 3 things happen:

1.  I clean my body.

2. I praise the Lord.

3. I reflect on my fears and failures.

#2 and #3 hardly ever occur at the same time; #1 always is accomplished.

One day last week, I was trying to enjoy a steamy shower and my mind was suddenly bombarded with visions of some particularly painful previous sins.  It was as if I was watching a movie or documentary of my most troublesome sins.

I began to weep before the Lord asking Him for forgiveness.

He said to me, “Daughter, what are you talking about?”

Defining TruthorPrayer

So, I’ve been asked why I would name something “Truth or Prayer”.  Doesn’t it give off the connotation that truth and prayer are separate?

Well, the truth is, yes….kinda.  BUT, it is a spinoff of the old teeny bopper game “Truth or Dare”.  In the game, a person chooses either “truth” and promises to be totally honest in answering whatever question is asked,  or “dare”  and do whatever they are dared to do.  There is no backing out of either choice.

Such is life.  We have the choice to be completely truthful no matter what.

This includes unabashed honesty with ourselves. Sometimes we have to look at hard issues in our lives and tell the complete truth about them even when we want to sugarcoat them with some sort of fancy justification or what not.

Also, if we want to live in an unbroken relationship with God, we must be completely honest with Him.  WOW is that hard!

How many times do we say, “Hey God, I’m questioning your Sovereignty today?” Probably not very often.  Instead we worry, and in the midst of that say, “God is in control” all the while wondering if He really is in control or if He is going to work things out for OUR interest.  Never mind His glory, right?

Oh, wait.

No, He is in control.  No question. He does deserve the glory.

He is sovereign when we worry. He is sovereign when our plans fail. He is sovereign when we have been stung by evil.  He is sovereign when we overdraft our bank accounts. He is always sovereign.

Whatever we need to get honest about, it is time to get honest.  No human in the history of mankind is sinless. Except One, and He is Sovereign.

Oh how hard that is.  Okay, never mind…I choose prayer!

It is in prayer that we are able to present ourselves to the Most High in complete trust in Him.  In prayer we are able to seek His will and find His heart.  It is here that our truth is revealed -no matter how awful it is- and is transformed into His truth.

In prayer, we can submit to His Sovereignty. It is also in prayer that we hear His voice and His commission.

“Go out into all the world and make disciples of all the nations.”  Yikes.

“Go tell that woman she is beautiful.”  uh…isn’t that creepy?

“Ask them if you can pray for them.”  What if they think….?

“Be patient with this man. Show Him grace.”  But!

“Give this woman all the money in your wallet.” What if I need it?

“Trust Me.”

Oh how hard that is.  Okay, never mind…I choose truth!

 

In short, this “blog” will be postings of some truth or postings of some prayer with a few stories in between.

Bleeding Heart

I spent years of my life running from this place; this place of love, traded for strife.  But, You continue to show me Your face?

You are relentless

Why, oh Lord,  did You choose for me to be wrapped in your arm’s embrace?

I’m not worthy

The waves surround. I’m a storm in the depths of the sea. It is here You set me high upon the Rock of Grace!

I’m forgiven

Unholy is what I feel as I am falling at Your feet.   You reach out Your scarred hand and say, “What I gave you no one can steal.  Rise up, dear daughter; dance with me.  In my house you have a place.”

And we dance.

 

Our God Reigns!

Lord God, You are Good.

A call to prayer,

A call to lead,

Removing each layer,

Others to feed.

When doubt comes

and questions appear,

You still beat the drums

To let me know You’re near.

There is not room

for things of this world,

counted souls close to doom;

many dreams unfurled.

Grant me Your mercy!

Come down with Glory!

Through every controversy

Let me tell Your story.

“I am not a Christian because I am strong and have it all together. I am Christian because I am weak and admit I need a Savior” -Lacrae

This is how we are with God:  We learn the truth.  It takes hard work to get there.  We have to suffer and persevere through amazingly difficult things just to quickly discard it because of some sudden feeling of inadequacy and loneliness.

The Dilemma:

I am tired of being a single mom, but have decided it is not the mom part that I am tired of, it is the single part.  However, I am too afraid of relationships to even put an end to this single life.

What is God doing here?

He is teaching me to trust Him.  He is teaching me to be pure (and that hurts). He is teaching me to trust Him. He is showing me how to be loved.  With His love, I can never settle for the mediocre selfish love of humanity again.  I will be adored by my love or have no lover at all.

So, I take captive all thoughts of inadequacy and regret, knowing that this life I have lived has been prayerful.

I will stop looking at the left hands of any handsome man I see and wonder if I am worth his time. My time is too precious and my God says I am worth everything to Him.